


Mcytbers are (basically) a disaster

by Fairaway_Wars



Category: Hermitcraft RPF, Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Dream team rooms, Gen, Hermitcraft is the illuminati, bbh as an RA, bbh needs to be paid more for this
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-01
Updated: 2020-08-01
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:21:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,396
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25650514
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fairaway_Wars/pseuds/Fairaway_Wars
Summary: The college au where Dream Team rooms, Bad is a tired RA, Hermitcraft is a cult, and Zak somehow gets a car onto the dormitory roof. Bad does not get paid enough.
Comments: 13
Kudos: 129





	Mcytbers are (basically) a disaster

**Author's Note:**

> This is a collab between milkteacrystals and Fairall so sorry if the writing styles are a little different between scenes. I don't know anything about Hermitcraft so everyone thank Fairall for those parts.

“Your total is $22.26 sir.” The Walmart employee stated in the standard flat and dead tone acquired from too many years of customer service.

 _’Good to know that crippling customer service jobs in large corporate environments are a universal thing’_ George thought to himself, brain registering the tone of voice before the actual contents of the sentence.

“Wait, but the price on the box says $20?” He asked, confused.

“Sir, I don't control taxes.”

George's eyebrows narrowed as his confusion only deepened. “What that, that doesn’t even make sense.”

“Your total is $22.26, would you like to pay by cash or by card.” The cashier responded almost robotically, seemingly not even paying attention to what George was saying.

~

Dream couldn’t help but wheeze at the hilariousness of the situation. A brit was struggling with the concept of american taxes while buying an 80 pack of tetley tea bags, it looked like something straight out of a youtube skit.

“Dude, don’t you dare tell him.” Sapnap said from behind.

“Same goes for you.” He replied with a smile.

~

“Wait but the box said $20, where is this extra $2.26 coming from?” George tried asking again.

“I told you, sales taxes.”

 _Wait a minute_

Time seemed to slow as George slowly realised what was going on. “You mean the tax on items isn’t included in the price? Why would you do that, the price is supposed to show you how much the items cost!”

“It’s not a personal choice sir.”

“Why would anyone run a country like this? This is such a scam, is no one protesting against this? This is literal theft!” He yelled, feeling rightfully offended.

“Is that cash or card.”

They stood there, blankly staring at each other until George gave a defeated sigh.

“Cash.” He responded, giving up on arguing. After a full day of moving into the shared college dorm, he really didn’t have the energy to protest any more. The stone cold, mechanical cashier reached out a hand to take the $20 and a $5 bill being held out to him.

He quickly placed the bills in the tray and the box of teabags into a bag which he held out to the customer. George took the bag.

_’Well, America is a scam, but at least I have tea.’_

  


  


* * *

  


  


Only two months after the beginning of freshman year, they had somehow already fucked up.

“Okay listen guys, I have an idea, if anyone asks, let's just say it was George.” Sapnap suggested, looking at the absolute mess presented in front of them.

“What!” The shorter boy protested, turning to face his accuser. “Okay this is totally unfair, Dream started it! He was the one that showed us the video!”

“And you said we should try it!” Sapnap shot back.

George crossed his arms. “Well I was joking obviously! You were the one that balled up the aluminium and put it in the microwave!”

“Dream pressed the start button, not me.”

“You-

“Uh guys?” Dream interrupted, voice rising with concern. “We can disagree about whose fault it is later, but maybe we should do something about the mess before we all die of sulphur poisoning.

The two previously arguing boys turned away from each other back to the situation at hand. Hot, black sludge oozed from the ceiling and sides of the ruined microwave, burnt glass shards scattered all around the general vicinity and the wallpaper charred to the point of forming a black to brown gradient on the wall behind it.

And smoke with a smell worrying close to that of sulphur.

“We should probably open a window or something dude.” Sapnap suggested.

George slowly started to walk away from the scene of the disaster. “Yeah I’ll-I’ll go do that.”

“So if we’re not pinning the blame on George, how are we gonna explain this.” Sapnap asked. “We’re so gonna get expelled”

“Ok, listen, I took the sticker for the model of the microwave to cover up my webcam to stop the FBI from spying on me, we could find one online and just replace it without anyone knowing.” Dream said, slowly forming a plan.

“Dude, the _wall_ ” Sapnap pointed out. “It's totally destroyed, how are we supposed to hide that.”

Dream thought for a moment. “Bad probably knows where the school gets their wallpaper.”

“Bad’s totally gonna snitch on us.”

He smiled, plans suddenly falling into place. “I knew this would come in handy someday.” Taking his phone out of his jean pocket, he opened a file of images. They seemed to be screenshots of a text conversation as well as random photos taken on the campus.

“Dude, how in any way is that supposed to help.”

Dream grinned, obviously plotting something. “You’ll see.”

~

“You muffin WHAT.”

“We put aluminum foil in a microwave, it blew up, and now we need new wallpaper.” Dream summarized again for the RA.

“Why would you, how- I don’t- I don’t understand. Did you not notice it popping or sparking or aNYTHING?” Bad frantically gesticulated with his hands.

Dream, George and Sapnap all fell silent with that question, none of them wanting to admit to their own stupidity.

He pinched the bridge of his nose. “Oh my goodness, you three are going to be in so much trouble.”

“Actually Bad, we were planning on not telling the faculty staff.”

Predictably, the straight A student didn’t take this very well. “What? You can’t just not report dorm damage! They have to know so that they can set regulations and record building history accurately.”

“Well, as long as we fix the damage and pay for it, no staff need to get involved right?” Sapnap reasoned.

“It doesn’t work like that! We have to tell them!”

Dream sighed, it looked like they couldn’t convince him. “Listen Bad, I didn’t want to resort to this, but If you tell them about what happened with the microwave, I should have the right to tell them about your illegal on campus muffin selling business.”

Bad blinked for a few seconds. “That’s different! The only reason it’s illegal is because of food regulations, and I’m very careful with the muffins and always include allergy warnings! Plus the cafeteria food is so terrible, I felt bad for the poor muffins.”

“And we would rather not get expelled, so deal?” Dream asked, holding out his hand.

Bad sighed, clearly dying inside from having to break another rule. “Fine, I’ll tell you where the wallpaper comes from.”

  


  


* * *

  


  


“You… you blew up a paper plane? How does that even happen?” Dream laughed, sounding both impressed and confused.

“I really don’t know, honestly. I just did.” George responded, as confused and impressed as Dream was.

“What were you thinking, honestly?” Sapnap added, also feeling like the other two.

“I ha-“ George was quickly cut off by a loud yell from behind them.

“Hey!” A short, dirty blonde in a red sweater ran up to the trio. The dream team, in turn, turned around to face him, caught off-guard.

“Grian?” George looked at his fellow short brit. 

Grian smiled. “Hi George! Are these your friends?”

George nodded. “Yep, these are Dream and Sapnap. I probably told you about them before.” He pointed at his two friends.

“Yup! I’ve heard. Anyways, I wanted to ask you something… Well, not me, actually.” The blonde looked behind him, gesturing at two others to come over. One, a tall, black haired man, was dragged by a shorter brown haired man. 

“I don’t know why I asked for this-“ The tall one asked.

“Oh come on, Mumbo Jumbolio… You gotta do it some day.” Grian smiled.

The short, brown haired guy spoke up too. “Hey George, Mumbo has a crush on y-“

He was cut off by a stab in the upper arm. “Iskaallll....” He drew it out in a groan.

Iskall, in response, just laughed. 

“...What’d you want to ask me, Mumbo?” George tilted his head, slightly giggling too. Dream, Sapnap and Grian were also just holding in laughter. The swede had the most contagious laugh ever.

Mumbo let out a sigh. “I can’t believe you two… Anyways, George, I wanted to ask you for help on one of the papers for class.”

“...That’s it?”

“Yes.” 

“Alright, when?”

“I dunno… this saturday at 3 pm?”

“I don’t have any plans, then, sounds good.” George shrugged.

“...Glad that’s settled, then.”

**Author's Note:**

> milkteacrystals' [Discord](https://discord.gg/2nQYXDP)


End file.
